i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
