Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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