Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
