after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
