FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize