And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I party with great urgency now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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