the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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