So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
