She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everything about him screamed your future.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
