There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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