escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Randomize
