My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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