Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
