bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
