i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
