I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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