My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
