Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
