dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
