Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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