Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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  (949): Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier. http://tfl.nu/b8lx
  Replies (22) Good night (1059) Bad night (2456)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

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  (816): you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too http://tfl.nu/2c4t
  Replies (8) Good night (1174) Bad night (3259)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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  (240): Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug" http://tfl.nu/c6tu
  Replies (22) Good night (5965) Bad night (1174)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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  (817): maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me. http://tfl.nu/m7oc
  Replies (14) Good night (5049) Bad night (702)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

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  (401): Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible. http://tfl.nu/g0k8
  Replies (14) Good night (4473) Bad night (1007)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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  (406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk
  Replies (8) Good night (3337) Bad night (580)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.

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  (515): She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/t1ua
  Replies (8) Good night (997) Bad night (643)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.

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  (440): Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits. http://tfl.nu/0lkb
  Replies (10) Good night (1070) Bad night (1005)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  that's how you measure success

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?

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  (401): that's how you measure success (1-401): By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/varj
  Replies (8) Good night (1358) Bad night (515)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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  (612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive
  Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (364)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.

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  (870): I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting. http://tfl.nu/ibtm
  Replies (9) Good night (805) Bad night (638)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?

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  (913): Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue? http://tfl.nu/a2ns
  Replies (6) Good night (1012) Bad night (382)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I can't wait to tell mom.

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  (920): He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me? (262): I can't wait to tell mom. http://tfl.nu/c20r
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (691)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.

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  (612): This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running. http://tfl.nu/k8o9
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (523)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.

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  (250): Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit. http://tfl.nu/wak6
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (190)

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