ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!

  Fav 9 3237 975

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this

  Fav 17 5266 1485

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

  Fav 5 4936 1224

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

  Fav 14 2999 1100

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.

  Fav 40 7807 1534

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

  Fav 3 1043 1616

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (713): View more from Texas

  I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you

  Fav 7 736 1281

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

  Fav 11 3030 886

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?

  Fav 2 812 650

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.

  Fav 3 1033 553

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup

  Fav 3 855 559

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye

  Fav 0 473 655

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.

  Fav 0 493 695

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on

  Fav 2 231 138

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us

  Fav 4 257 137

  share tweet
  

Randomize