you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program