that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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