Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb
  Replies (37) Good night (1623) Bad night (7926)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1wl2
  Replies (3) Good night (4391) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (340): $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end. http://tfl.nu/eqa9
  Replies (4) Good night (3684) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual? http://tfl.nu/dfsm
  Replies (7) Good night (2738) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09
  Replies (12) Good night (1379) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears http://tfl.nu/wgjj
  Replies (15) Good night (860) Bad night (1638)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/758u
  Replies (7) Good night (1758) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets http://tfl.nu/s9b7
  Replies (5) Good night (385) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!? http://tfl.nu/rfa8
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date http://tfl.nu/9qn8
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom http://tfl.nu/zs1y
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  To be fair I was thirsty

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar (1-780): To be fair I was thirsty (780): When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!" http://tfl.nu/ztbw
  Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises? http://tfl.nu/4z08
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid http://tfl.nu/nlje
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (162)

Randomize