How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.