remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
