puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
