I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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