everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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