After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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