i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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