How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
