That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
