We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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