dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
