What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize