It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
