The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
