i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
