Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
