don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
