grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
