Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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