I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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