she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
