If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
