I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
