Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize