Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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