I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
