Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
People with herpes should wear stickers.
bring money and cleavage
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
