Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
