is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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