Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
