how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
