she was so not down for the gang bang
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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