Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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