I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
sex in a hospital.. check
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
