i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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