I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
