you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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