if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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