i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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